Unit 4 - Growing by Prayer

Unit 4 - Growing by Prayer



DISCIPLE FOUNDATIONS

Growing By Prayer

 

DAY 1

1 prayer

nounoften attributive   |   \ˈprer\

Definition of prayer

1. a (1) :  an address (such as a petition) to God or a god in word or thought    ‘said a prayer for the success of the voyage’   (2) :  a set order of words used in praying

b :  an earnest request or wish

2. :  the act or practice of praying to God or a god    kneeling in prayer

3. :  a religious service consisting chiefly of prayers —often used in plural

4. :  something prayed for

5. :  a slight chance    haven't got a prayer

When you think of prayer, what comes to your mind? Rosary beads? Shawls and head coverings? Chanting? Bowing? Kneeling? 8lb. 6oz. newborn infant Jesus in golden fleece diapers?

Depending on our experience in churches and with other Christians, our experience of prayer may be vastly different: from rigid  recited prayers to charismatic weeping, wailing, and laying on of hands.  And depending on your view of God, your understanding of the nature and purpose of prayer will also vary greatly.

Some people use prayer as an ATM withdrawal or a rubbing a magical lamp.

Some may pray rarely, if at all, worried they might say the wrong thing or that their prayers aren’t “spiritual enough” to be answered by God.

  • What has been your experience with prayer?

 

If we are going to have a right relationship with God and this world, we must have a right understanding of prayer.

 

So what exactly is prayer? And Why do it?

Prayer is still a fairly regular part of Western Society, but for many it’s limited to “saying grace” before dinner, which can be an awkward experience.

Even though, as Christians, we really do want to pray, if we’re honest, a lot of times it feels unnatural, formal, empty, or just plain weird (especially if you are praying next to a hand-holder—what’s with that?!)

And yet, the Bible is filled with commands and instructions to pray, so it must be important to God, right? However, when we start to think about prayer, we can end up with a lot of questions:

  • How do I pray?

  • How do I know I’m doing it right? Do I have to have a special place, special words, or a certain posture?

  • What should I pray for? In what situations should I pray?

  • Do my prayers really matter, or is God going to do what He wants to anyway?

  • How can I expect that God has time to listen to my prayers when there are millions of others around the world praying at the same time?

  • Does praying make me a better Christian? If I don’t pray, will God be mad at me?

 

WHAT IS PRAYER ALL ABOUT?

 

A Relationship

Many people simplify prayer by saying, “It’s simply talking to God.” To the extent that this defuses the pressure of formality and frees you from feeling like you have to perform, this definition of prayer is helpful. But it isn’t enough; it’s an oversimplification.

Prayer isn’t just talking to God; prayer is developing and intimate trust relationship with God.

Jesus told His disciples, “ You are my friends if you do what I command.  I no longer call you servants because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.”  (John 15:14-15)

  • Jesus calls us His friends.  What’s the difference between a servant and a friend according to this passage?  

 

As followers of Christ, Jesus calls us friends.  Think of that!  A friend shares their thoughts and what is on their heart.  Friends get the inside story according to Jesus. 

Has it occurred to you that God actually doesn’t need us to do anything for Him?  He could do it all. 

But He invites us as friends, through prayer, to partner with Him—because friends do things together.

*****

  • How does friendship with Jesus and partnering with God affect how you approach prayer? In what way does prayer actually matter?

 

  • Do you feel comfortable sharing the same sort of issues with Jesus that you do with your friends? Why or why not?

 

Memory Verse:  "“If you remain in me and my words remain in you, you may ask for anything you want, and it will be granted" (John 15:7).

 

 


DAY 2

As we pray, we allow the Spirit and words of Christ to remain in us (Unit 2), and we align ourselves with Him and what we ought to be. Then what Jesus promised us in John 15:7 becomes true in our lives:

“If you remain in me and my words remain in you, you may ask for anything you want, and it will be granted!”

  • What are the requirements Jesus gives for our prayer to be answered?

 

So prayer is not about:

  • Form (special words or how we say it);
  • Or even Passion (how much we “feel it”)

It’s primarily about developing a growing, trust relationship with our Father.

  • How has prayer played a role in your relationship with God so far?

 

A Change in Perspective

God knows best for every person and every situation in the whole world.  So, when we are faced with struggles, we are not supposed to start by figuring out the solution then asking God to make it happen.

Instead, we are supposed to pray that the will of God be done, trusting in God’s character which includes: love, peace, goodness, self-sacrifice, wisdom, mercy, and more.

Does prayer change things?  Certainly.  But often prayer changes me first, then God leads me according to His will.

  • What are some of the characteristics and desires of God that you know from the Bible?

 

  • Now, think of a situation in your life or the life of someone you know.  Based on the above, and regardless of the way things have gone so far, what do you believe the will of God might be for that situation?

 

As we remain in Him, getting to know Him through His Word and by prayer, we start to align ourselves with Him and we become changed in the process.  Our character is formed to be like the character of Jesus Himself when we sit in His presence in prayer.  Psalm 37:4 says,

“Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires.”

What that doesn’t mean is that God will give us everything we desire.  What God gives us is a new heart that desires the things of God!

  • What desires have become different because of your relationship with God?

 

God often chooses not to act until His people pray in faith, because he wants us to be at a place in our heart and mind to partner with Him and depend on Him.

 

Yeah that sounds good, but does prayer work?

The Bible is overwhelmingly clear:  prayer matters and makes a real difference. 

Here are just a few of the key passages that instruct us on the importance of prayer for a disciple:

  • God wants to answer our prayers –  Jesus tells us God desires to give us good things when we ask (Matt 7:7-11; John 14:13-16).
  • We are warned not to forget to ask in prayer - James said that often we don’t have what we need because we don’t ask for it (James 4:2; 5:13-18)
  • We are told to pray boldly – as we come before the throne of God (Heb. 4:16).
  • We are told to pray about everything - And to pray without ceasing (Phil. 4:6-7; 1 Thess. 5:17).

So yes, according to Scripture, we can trust that our prayers are necessary, powerful, and real.

 

When The Answer Is Not What We Expected. 

While we love to see prayer answered, there will be times that we pray and either we don’t get the result we prayed for or it seems God doesn’t answer at all. 

At times like this, we need to remember that there is only one God, and we are not Him. God is good and He wants good for us.  We have this promise,

"And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.….He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?" (Romans 8:28, 32)

This verse does not say all things are good, but that they “work together” for our good. 

Flour, sugar, raw eggs, salt, butter, and baking powder don’t taste good in themselves.  (OK, some of you would eat the sugar.)  But “worked together” by a master baker they make a great cake.  Imagine criticizing the baker halfway through the process.  That’s what we do sometimes. 

As God’s followers we have to decide, do we trust His character, wisdom, love, and goodness or not?

  • When have you prayed and not seen the result you hoped for? How did you handle it?

 

  • How can you maintain your faith in those moments when it seems you aren’t getting the answer you pray for?  What reassurance do the above verses give?

 


DAY 3

SO HOW DO YOU PRAY?

1. Pray in Faith

The Bible is very clear that we live by faith and that applies to our prayers as well:

"If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."  (Matthew 21:22)

Maybe you’re already thinking, “Whatever I ask?”  There are other passages that explain that God won’t  honor inappropriate desires (James 4:3) of course.  Also, God is going to answer according to His will:

"And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us.  And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him." (1 John 5:14-15)

We might ask, “How can I pray in faith if I’m not sure what God’s will is?” 

There will be times when we don’t know God’s will in a matter.  We still need to pray in faith, realizing that our faith is in our all-wise God, not in our ability to suggest to Him a particular answer.   Even if we don’t know God’s will, we do know God!

  • Can you think of a time when God answered your prayer in a different and better way that you imagined or asked (Eph. 3:20)?

 

2. Pray in Jesus’ name

Christians often end their prayers, “In Jesus name we pray. Amen.”  That isn’t just an convenient closer someone made up.  Jesus Himself told his disciples to pray and ask “in My name.”

“Whatever you ask in My name, that will I do, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son.”  (John 14:13)

“Until now you have asked for nothing in My name; ask and you will receive, so that your joy may be made full.”  (John 16:24)

What does it mean to pray in Jesus’ name?  It’s not a magic formula we tag on to make God do something.  It means to pray relying on the merit of Christ, His authority as the Son of God, not our own worthiness.  

Have you ever been given a note by a doctor to give your boss or your school to explain why you needed off? If so, you used their name and authority as the basis of your request, not your own merit.

  • If we had to pray based on our worthiness, what would happen?

 

3. Pray persistently

It’s rare to pray about something just once and see God’s answer.   Jesus told us to keep asking, seeking, and knocking.

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened." (Matthew 7:7-8)

Each of these verbs (ask, knock, seek) is in the present tense, which in the original language meant to “keep on” doing it, keep on asking, knocking, seeking.

  • What’s the relationship between asking (in prayer), then seeking, and knocking?

 

  • How do they relate to being persistent in our prayers?

 

4. Listen to God

Prayer is communicating with God, not just talking to Him.  As a believer you have the Holy Spirit living inside of you.

"But when He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into all the truth; for He will not speak on His own initiative, but whatever He hears, He will speak; and He will disclose to you what is to come."  (John 16:13)

  • From this verse, what vital role does the Spirit play in prayer?

 

How do we know when God is speaking to us? 

Is it just our imagination?   Could we just be fooling ourselves? 

First, realize that God has already spoken to you in His Word, so ask whether what you think God is saying to you lines up with what He has already said in Scripture.  

God will never contradict Himself.  He will never lead you in a direction that is contrary to the Bible’s teaching.  He will never say, “OK, this time do get revenge, do fudge on your taxes. You deserve it!”  That would be the world, the flesh, or the devil.  Maybe all three.

The more you read, study, believe, and obey God’s Word the more you will also recognize His prompting in matters the Bible doesn’t directly address.   Jesus said that His sheep know His voice (John 10:4).  How?  From having followed the Shepherd! 

Second, God calls us to walk by faith.  At times “on paper” one direction may seem logical, but God’s Spirit leads us the other way  (Check out Acts 16:6-10 for a great example of this.).

  • Share a time God changed your plans, but you now see it his plan was better.

 

Third, another way we hear from God is by the changes He makes in our heart.  

The natural inclination of our hearts used to be toward sin and self.  However, as we seek to remain in Him, God will tilt or incline our heart toward doing His will,

"Incline my heart to Your testimonies And not to dishonest gain" (Psalm 119:36). 

God’s Spirit is working inside you to make this so,

“for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure. (Philippians 2:13)

It may even surprise us when it happens!  Suddenly we have the thought or feel the urge to be generous in a certain  situation where we used to be stingy.  Go with it!  The devil isn’t tempting you to be giving.  That’s God renewing your heart and mind

  • Have you seen this in your life?  What are some examples?

 


DAY 4

Fourth, Listening to God may take gathering with other believers—especially in worship.

There are times we are overwhelmed with a situation—and God’s voice may seem a million miles away. We prayed but we seem to be unable to climb out of the pit we are in mentally. 

This happened to one of God’s closest followers, a man named Asaph, a spiritual leader who wrote twelve of the Psalms.

We don’t know what happened, but it suddenly dawned on Asaph that there were many evil people around Jerusalem who were rich, healthy and carefree.  Meanwhile he wasn’t, despite having “kept my heart pure” (Psalm 73:13-14).  It was like Facebook envy!   

 He struggled with a bitter attitude:

"… I almost lost my footing….For I envied the proud when I saw them prosper despite their wickedness. They seem to live such painless lives; their bodies are so healthy and strong.  They don’t have troubles like other people.…

Did I keep my heart pure for nothing...If I had really spoken this way to others, I would have been a traitor to your people."  (Psalm 73:1-5, 13, 15 NLT)

As a spiritual leader he knew he couldn'’t just dump his bad attitude out there, but he can’t seem to shake it either.  Until one day he joined others in worship:

"Then I went into your sanctuary, O God, and I finally understood the destiny of the wicked. Truly you put them on a slippery path...in an instant they are destroyed…."

Then I realized that my heart was bitter...I was so foolish and ignorant— I must have seemed like a senseless animal to you. Yet I still belong to you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel.”  (Psalm 73:17, 19, 21-24 NLT, )

  • What are some of the new perspectives Asaph mentions, once he "went into the sanctuary" to worship?

 

  • What do you notice about Asaph's honesty as he talks with God?

 

When we worship, God lifts our view.  It's like taking off in cloudy weather then rising above the clouds where the sun was always shining.  As we "magnify God," He grows bigger in our eyes and troubles grow smaller. 

  • Describe a time when you heard from God that way.  What was it like?  What did He say?  What were the circumstances surrounding that experience?

 

It's not magic

One final point that is important, especially in our day:  prayer is not magic.  

Magic is when we believe if we do something “just right,” or say certain words then God has to do what we say.  Magic puts us in control. If you can master the formula, you master the situation.

But there is no formula for working with God.  God is sovereign; He is not controlled by the methods humans cling to (see 2 Kings 5:10-11).

Here’s a few common examples of this type of “magical” thinking:  When we believe that God will answer our prayers if we really feel them passionately enough, or include certain words, phrases, or postures.  Also, when we believe that our prayer has nothing to do with our character or relationship with God.

  • Have you been guilty of praying this way? In what circumstances are you most tempted to believe this about prayer?

 


DAY 5

What Jesus Taught on  Prayer

Don’t pray for the purpose of impressing others  (Matthew 6:5-6).  

Believe it or not, in Jesus’ day and world you could actually gain status by praying loudly on a street corner.  Things have certainly changed!  

Jesus isn’t saying don’t pray in public.  The Bible is full of positive examples of public prayer.  He is warning about praying merely to impress others.   When praying in a group, take your eyes off yourself and pray humbly, honestly, and simply from your heart as if it were just you and the Lord.

Don’t use empty repetition

Don't think that more words are better than a few.  Jesus tells us that God  already knows what you need.  So say it simply, in faith.  (Matthew 6:7-8).

Jesus’ Model Prayer

“Therefore, you should pray like this:

Our Father in heaven, Your name be honored as holy.

Your kingdom come. Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us today our daily bread.

And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.

And do not bring us into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.

For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen. (Matthew 6:9-13 HCSB)

  • Why is it important to notice that Jesus didn’t say to pray this, but to pray “like” this?

 

  • To see Jesus' outline, for each line above underline Your and our/us and the noun(s) that comes after them ("Your name," etc.).

 

A Daily Quiet Time of Prayer and God’s Word

One of the habits that can help us grow is a daily time of prayer and reading God’s Word. 

Now, the Bible is clear that there is nothing more we can do to win God’s favor. Jesus did it all for us.  But this daily time is a healthy spiritual habit, to stay strong, and ready.

Picture Rocky Balboa running through Philadelphia in the early morning darkness--punching the cool morning air while the city slept.  There  was no law that said he had to run.  He did it because he wanted to be ready for the fight.

One thing that Jesus did consistently was go off on his own to pray. (Luke 5:16). He taught it too, saying,

“when you pray, go away by yourself, shut the door behind you, and pray to your Father in private.”  (Matt 6:6).

When we are alone, praying to God, there is no pressure. 

You can start by outlining your own prayer after Jesus’ model prayer above.  But realize the Psalmists often just started wherever their heart and mind happened to be, even if it was a complaint or a bad attitude they were struggling with.

God already knows where you are, so be honest!  But those Psalmists didn’t end there!  They openly processed things with God until their hope and faith revived.

 

Tips for a Daily Quiet Time (daily devotional time)

  1. Find a time when you are at your best (for some it could be morning, but anytime that is your best time works!)

  2. Start small and let it grow.  Better to start with 5-10 minutes than 30.

  3. If you miss a day, just pick up where you left off.  This isn’t a check list.

  4. Find a consistent private place, even if it’s in the parking lot at work a few minutes early

  5. Don't speed read. Take time to reflect and pray.   See the Resources for ideas such the YouVersion Bible App.

  6. If you start something and find you’re not enjoying it, change it!  Make it something you look forward to.

  7. Maybe you and a friend can encourage each other in this, and pray for each other.

  • If you’ve had something like a Quiet Time or regular daily devotional, what have you  done that has been meaningful to you?  Share it with others and encourage them to start a daily time with God!

 

Your Spiritual Growth Plan

We grow by taking a Next Step!

Pray a one sentence prayer from time to time throughout the day to bring God into your circumstances.


Identify a place and time you can go to meet with God, pray, and read/meditate on His Word.  Make it a life habit to spend time in this place on a regular basis.  Use a Bible reading plan (see Resources)

 

 

 

FAQs and "Hard Questions"

 

 

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