Spiritual gifts are divinely given abilities for serving that the Holy Spirit gives each believer in Christ.
Why does God give them to us? We use our gifts to serve together and build up one another in the church, not to call undue attention to ourselves,
“Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good.” (1 Corinthians 12:7)
How are these gifts given? Regarding spiritual gifts Paul wrote to the Corinthian church that while our gifts differ, the same Holy Spirit imparts them to each believer:
“All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he distributes them to each one, just as he determines.” (1 Corinthians 12:11)
We do not choose our spiritual gifts, the Holy Spirit does, as He determines.
The God who made us and called us also enables us to serve as He sees fit. Paul indicates in this chapter that all the Corinthian believers have spiritual gifts, not a special class of saints or just pastors. The moment you became a believer, because the Holy Spirit indwells you (1 Corinthians 3:16), you also have spiritual gifts He desires to use.
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What are the spiritual gifts? Is there a list? There are several different lists of spiritual gifts in the New Testament, but none contain all the gifts. In fact, only a couple of the gifts (prophecy and teaching) are definitely repeated in other lists.
So, the big question is, why didn’t Paul give every church a comprehensive list? This seems to indicate that the Holy Spirit wants to empower and use us in a wide variety of ways; too many to list.
As a result, Paul’s list of gifts in Romans 12:4-8, 1 Corinthians 12:8-10 are examples of some of the many ways God can empower us to serve. But not everyone has the same abilities. And that's just how God planned it! Some people are "mercy" people while others are great adminstrators or leaders, but maybe not too merciful. Neither is more important than the other. All are needed in the church, working together.
On the other hand, Paul’s list in Ephesians 4:11-12 is a bit different. It tells us five types of people God has given as gifts to the church for equipping the saints to do ministry: apostles, evangelists, pastors, prophets, and teachers.
Gift envy? Paul warned the Corinthians not to feel slighted or like their gifts are not as important as someone else's. He compared the church to a body with different parts that have different functions as God assigned. Some are like a foot, or a hand, or a mouth, etc.:
Now if the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. 16 And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. 17 If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? 18 But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. 19 If they were all one part, where would the body be? 20 As it is, there are many parts, but one body. (1 Corinthians 12:15-19)
God uses some people in very up front ways, like leading worship, teaching, or preaching. Others have a ministry that is more behind the scenes. Paul says that both are necessary! Imagine a church without someone serving in the nursery or countless other ways.
Do gifts make me spiritual? While God wants to use your gifts, spiritual gifts do not make you spiritual. It is just the opposite. As you walk in the Spirit, God works through you, using your gifts, experience, talents, personality and all you are. The Corinthian church had more problems and conflicts than any other church, yet they seemed to also be the one most focused on the spiritual gifts. What was the problem? Henry Blackaby writes,
“Why is it that countless believers seem to stand powerless before a world desperately needing what we claim to have? …. a major [reason] is that Christians are seeking gifts of the Holy Spirit and not the Holy Spirit Himself. They want power but not a relationship with the One whose presence gives power. They want to do great things for God, but haven’t understood that greatness in the kingdom of God comes out of a relationship with Christ and the filling of the Holy Spirit. They’re so enamored with self that they have no idea what is on the heart of God. If we seek the gifts of the Spirit and not the Holy Spirit Himself, we’ll always focus on self. We must learn to understand that there are no gifts apart from an intimate relationship with the Spirit. (Emphasis ours). (What's So Spiritual about Your Gifts? pp. 13-14).
Conclusion: The ultimate answer to the question, “What is your spiritual gift?” is the Holy Spirit Himself! (John 16:1-15). Jesus told the disciples it was actually to their advantage that He go away because then He would send the Spirit who would live in them, work through them and around them, and guide them into all truth.
The best way to find out how God has gifted you is to jump in and start serving somewhere. Try different things. Over time you will learn how He wants to use you.